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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

seeing God returning, my passed dad in my dream last night

these days ema again colder shoulders to me. that let me review my situation for more than an hour yesterday. but i finally settled, after seeing her dark and sin. however after i woke up from a later doze in office, i felt sad. i don't want to hurt her, and i know she under pressure and distress exceeding her constrain. her reckons and the demon influence from her mother, with a family name ruan, the same syllables can means in Chinese soft, appeared in my mind and i felt i can do nothing except letting her to choose in silent action. i follow God's way and in no way to fear men's choice, no matter upon my way on the earth nor on other matters concerning me or my beloved. God saves the faith, in his creatures on the earth.
however, silent dispute at home let me sad, i esp felt sad upon the time i can be with my best beloved, warren, my baby son, my God, and the hope of China, who brings me so pleasure now and then, here and there. i mean to change, but don't figure to tear off our band in harmony with pains or bleedings. however, after all, i trust God sees my way ahead, over any unclear.
last afternoon in instant message i got known the mother-in-law of my second elder sister passed away. her husband also in family name ruan, the same as that of ema's mother, God lets it interwove and sins to die in sins they committed. in the night i likely caught in a nightmare in which the old woman exert fear in me. then my passed dadmy God and my forever hero, returns home, just like missing a gathering and be late awhile. His seat just there unchanged.
that's my highest pleasure, to see my dad in my dream. i didn't attend his funeral ceremony, and that led my always unease. i know he love me so much and i know he glad to see my absence from him in the end of his life on the earth, knowing me in the road to reclaim our vested land of China in title of family name zhu, and the only son doing the predefined task in sight of our ancestorthe Emperor of Ming Dynasty.
its a bright day today. God knows how i cherish the bright and warmth. these days Chinese laid off a lot in sinking enterprises in troubled economy, like occur in other parts of the world. i know God see its a way leading me through the block behind, toward the reunion with my all beloved girls, my crowned queens.
bye. that's my utterance today. i love seeing my space extending, like the wind spreading the message. love make u glad, just like it do me. i love u.